Anyone who knows me probably also knows that one of my unsavory guilty pleasures is tuning into mindless reality TV. Sure I listen to WTOP and NPR on the way to work and catch up on daily news via washingtonpost.com but in those weak moments when others grab for a twinkie or cold beer, I go for the DVR button on our remote.My latest addiction: Jon & Kate Plus 8
Monday's news of Jon and Kate's separation affected me more than I ever expected. How bad could it have really gotten that it is easier to try to raise EIGHT small children separately rather than together? Most media portray them as the evil, controlling wife against the defenseless and opinionless husband. But ultimately, they were both trying to do the right thing - in a situation that really had no precedent. There are no books on raising that many children under one roof. If they were a day care facility - state laws would prohibit them from operating since the adult to infant ratio was not small enough. Their relationship never had a chance.
Being an inexperienced, full-time working mom, it was second nature for me to put the majority of my time and efforts into the little one with Derek and myself getting whatever is leftover. Lucky for me, Derek has been more than tolerant of our new dynamic and is usually happy with whatever is leftover at the end of each day. But, is that the way it should be?
It made me start to think about how important not only baby, but couple and self relationships are. Sure, all of the parenting books tell you not to lose your date nites and friend's urge you to make time for yourself, but until I saw a real relationship deteriorate in front of me and experienced the pain it caused - did I get the point.
After seeing first-hand how quickly Jon and Kate's relationship slipped into critical mode, I have a new focus built on balance with baby, Derek, work and me. It makes me sad to see the hurt the Gosselin family is enduring, but at the very least, it has helped me see my life more clearly.
If you read this and can identify with any of it, please take a moment and do something thoughtful for your other half or a close friend, family member or yourself and enjoy the moment.
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2 comments:
I can completely relate. It's such a sad situation I can't even imagine what they're going through. I don't know how single parents do it let alone with 8? Child support for 8? You're right, balance is important along with making sure those we love know they're appreciated.
It's good that you saw a way to apply their situation to your own life. It is easy to grow apart....we did, simply because when we had time for ourselves, we would shoot off in two different directions, fulfilling our own interests. Our relationship was not only on the back burner....it was taken off the stove!! We have been spending the past few months putting time into "us" again and rekindling. It's been good. I'm glad that you are already making it a priority though....it'll really help your relationship in the short term and long term.
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